CHORUS (MEN) (Singing):
Once there was a savvy little boy.
Liked to play with hares and hounds and toys.
Spent his day in pretty little hills.
Far away from girls and other thrills.
Did he miss the company of their sex?
Not our boy, he was more complex.
He sought joy in nature which he found
Did not annoy, but was more profound.
(In the production, the following was spoken, not sung.)
CHORUS (MEN): May I, dearie, kiss your eyes?
CHORUS (WOMEN): Tears will flow from him who tries.
CHORUS (MEN): Then I’ll give you a big kick.
CHORUS (WOMEN): Your pubic hair is awfully thick.
CHORUS (MEN): It shows we’re men, if you please. Our hair scares all our enemies!
CHORUS (WOMEN) (Singing):
There was a man, Timon was his name.
What a man, he deserved his fame.
Found one can live within the wild.
He began to flee those he reviled.
Whom did he flee from, do you know?
If you do, it’s very apropos.
We’ll tell you, it’s not women whom he feared.
Here’s a clue: It’s the sex that wears a beard.
(In the production, the following was spoken, not sung.)
CHORUS (WOMEN): Shall I punch you on the arm?
CHORUS (MEN): Your punches can do me no harm.
CHORUS (WOMEN): A kick would take a greater toll.
CHORUS (MEN): Watch out or else we’ll see your hole.
CHORUS (WOMEN): And if you did, so what we say. You’ll find no hair on us today!